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[S25E4] Back To The Cold War



Butters attempts to train his horse, Melancholy, to perform dressage better, but Melancholy constantly defecates and has sexual intercourse with another horse during a practice. Mackey investigates the home of the Solokov family and finds Stephen and Linda in the stable trying to sabotage the horse. Mackey claims that Principal is a Russian spy and the dressage tournament will be a ploy to launch nuclear missiles. Mackey goes to his childhood family home to use a vintage floppy disk and dial-up modem to infiltrate the computers at NORAD. Mackey uses BASIC commands to hack the root system, emulating a Russian nuclear attack, triggering an escalation to DEFCON-3. The Russians receive notice of the DEFCON change and warn Putin, who has been nostalgic lately. As Mackey prepares to escalate NORAD to DEFCON-2, his mother interrupts and makes him realize the true source of his nostalgia is the fact that he is getting old. She tells him the Cold War era was not a good time nor one he should be attempting to get back to. At the dressage event, just as Solokov is about to win the event, Melancholy has intercourse with Solokov's horse, resulting in Solokov being thrown off the horse. A boxing referee counts Solokov out and Butters wins the event. The crowd celebrates as Mackey arrives and makes a triumphant speech.




[S25E4] Back to the Cold War



  • April 5, 2000 - December 20, 2000 "The Tooth Fairy's Tats 2000": The boys plan to get rich off a scheme involving the tooth fairy, which attracts the attention of an unusual crime boss. Meanwhile, Kyle ponders his existence after his parents tell him the truth about the tooth fairy. Originally aired April 5, 2000

  • "Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000": After hitting Tolkien in the head with a rock, Cartman gets arrested after FBI agents claim that he committed a hate crime, since the victim was African-American. Originally aired April 12, 2000

  • "Timmy 2000": All the kids in South Park are mistakenly diagnosed with attention deficit disorder after the new, mentally handicapped student Timmy is misdiagnosed himself. Meanwhile, Timmy joins Skyler's rock band, and Phil Collins plots to separate them. Originally aired April 19, 2000

  • "Quintuplets 2000": Stan's family take in a grandmother and her quintuplet granddaughters from Romania who are on the run from the American and Romanian government. Meanwhile, Kenny practices opera singing and he eventually becomes famous in Eastern Europe. Originally aired April 26, 2000

  • "Cartman Joins NAMBLA": Cartman's search for mature friends lands him as the poster child for NAMBLA (the North American Man Boy Love Association, which, shockingly, is a Real Life organization). Meanwhile, Kenny's parents plan to have another baby, and Kenny does what he can to sabotage it. Originally aired June 21, 2000

  • "Cherokee Hair Tampons": Kyle comes down with diabetes-related kidney failure, and the only way to save him is with a kidney transplant, but Kyle's mom (and everyone else in town) opts for holistic medicine from a shop run by a woman named Miss Information and her "Native American" assistants (voiced by stoner comedian duo Cheech & Chong). Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison becomes a romance novelist after getting fired for incompetence and getting arrested for soliciting sex from a minor. Originally aired June 28, 2000

  • "Chef Goes Nanners": Chef protests against the racist imagery on the South Park flag, though the kids don't see what's wrong with it. Meanwhile, Wendy freaks out when she begins to have a crush on Cartman. Originally aired July 5, 2000

  • "Something You Can Do With Your Finger": Cartman ropes in Stan, Kyle, a cross-dressed Wendy, and Kenny into creating Finger Bang, a boy band in the quest to get $10 million, but Randy forbids Stan to join. Originally aired July 12, 2000

  • "Do The Handicapped Go to Hell?": Part one of two. The boys question whether the handicapped (Timmy) or Jews (Ike and Kyle) go to Heaven, while Saddam Hussein returns to Hell, leading to an awkward reunion with Satan. Originally aired July 19, 2000

  • "Probably": Conclusion. Cartman and the boys start their own church against the wishes of their parents. Meanwhile, Satan must choose between two of his lovers. Originally aired July 26, 2000

  • "4th Grade": The boys enter fourth grade, and build a time machine to go back to the third grade. Meanwhile, the fourth grade teacher Ms. Choksondik (notorious for her sagging breasts and lazy eye) seeks help in controlling the students from Mr. Garrison, who is now a hermit who won't come to terms with his homosexuality. Originally aired November 8, 2000

  • "Trapper Keeper": A man from the future wants Cartman's new Trapper Keeper. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison's kindergarten class holds an election for class president with confusing results in the voting. Originally aired November 15, 2000

  • "Helen Keller: The Musical": Timmy attempts to find a live turkey for the Thanksgiving play. Originally aired November 22, 2000

  • "Pip": Malcolm McDowell narrates a South Park-style retelling of the Charles Dickens' classic, Great Expectations, starring British exchange student, Pip Pirrup. Originally aired November 29, 2000.

  • "Fat Camp": Cartman is sent to a weight loss camp. Meanwhile, Kenny becomes famous for doing disgusting and shocking things for money, a la Tom Green and Johnny Knoxville. Originally aired December 6, 2000

  • "The Wacky Molestation Adventure": After Kyle is barred from going to a Raging Pussies concert, Cartman tells him that he can easily get rid of his parents by calling the cops on them, claiming that his parents sexually molested him and his brother. When word spreads of this new way to rid the town of adults, the kids are left to fend for themselves, leading to chaos that only an out-of-town couple on their way to a job interview can stop. Originally aired December 13, 2000

  • "A Very Crappy Christmas": Kyle is upset when Mr. Hankey is too busy with his family to spread holiday cheer, so he and the other boys create a Christmas cartoon based on Parker and Stone's "The Spirit of Christmas." Last episode to be animated in PowerAnimator. Originally aired December 20, 2000



  • June 20, 2001 - December 12, 2001 "It Hits the Fan": The boundaries of appropriate language on TV gets mowed down in this episode, where the town freely begins using the word "shit" (and Mr. Garrison freely uses the word "fag" when he realizes he can say it now that he's an open homosexual) which causes people to die from the plague, and a band of strange knights appear to stop people from saying "shit." First episode to be animated in Autodesk Maya. Originally aired June 20, 2001

  • "Cripple Fight": Timmy tries to get rid of a new crippled kid named Jimmy, while Big Gay Al is fired from being a Boy Scout troop leader out of fear that he'll sexually molest the boys. Originally aired June 27, 2001

  • "Super Best Friends": A cult that worships David Blaine comes to South Park, but soon has brainwashed the boys, except for Stan, leading him to get the "Super Best Friends" (a group of religious figures who team up to save the world) into saving the world and into trying to destroy Blaine.note In the wake of the backlash from the "200"/"201" two-parter, this episode has been pulled due to an uncensored depiction of Mohammed. The season five DVD and Blu-ray sets, as well as torrent downloading, are the only places that still have this episode, as Netflix and Hulu streaming, TV syndication, and even the show's own website doesn't have the episode anymore Originally aired July 4, 2001

  • "Scott Tenorman Must Die": A Wham Episode where Cartman gets revenge on an older boy named Scott Tenorman after he sells Cartman his pubic hair and keeps tricking him out of his allowance. Originally aired July 11, 2001

  • "Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow": The boys try to reunite Terrance and Phillip, who are feuding against each other and have broken up (Terrance is still doing his act while Phillip has moved on to Shakespearean acting), so they can perform at an Earth Day assembly. Originally aired July 18, 2001

  • "Cartmanland": Cartman inherits $1,000,000 from his dead grandmother and buys out North Park Funland as his own personal playground. Meanwhile, Kyle develops a terrible hemorrhoid and begins to lose his faith in God. Originally aired July 25, 2001

  • "Proper Condom Use": The school is forced to teach sex education to the students at a younger age after the boys are found beating off dogs, leading to a gender war because of incompetent teaching methods. Originally aired August 1, 2001

  • "Towelie": In order to get their video game console back, the boys must bring an animated, drug smoking towel to the government from the feud between paramilitaries and extraterrestrials. Originally aired August 8, 2001

  • "Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants": The boys go to Afghanistan to return a goat given as a gift, where Stan and Kyle fight with Afghan kids over America's reputation and Cartman fights Osama bin Laden in the style of 1940s World War Two propaganda cartoons during the aftermath of the attacks and the Afghanistan-American war. This episode is the first to air after the September 11, 2001 attacks. Originally aired November 7, 2001

  • "How to Eat With Your Butt": Cartman "blows a funny fuse" when his prank of putting Kenny's butt on a milk carton prompts a family with butts for faces to come to South Park in search of their long lost son. Meanwhile, Butters gets grounded for his supposedly bad school photo. Originally aired November 14, 2001

  • "The Entity": Kyle's cousin, a stereotypical nebbishy Jewish boy also named Kyle, comes to stay with him. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison invents a new means of transportation to combat against airline budget cuts, ridiculous safety measures, and security incompetence following the 09/11/2001 attacks. Originally aired November 21, 2001

  • "Here Comes the Neighborhood": Rich, black families move into the predominantly white South Park, prompting the locals to be prejudiced against them for being wealthy. Originally aired November 28, 2001

  • "Kenny Dies": Kenny's Running Gag gets Played for Drama as he's put in the hospital for a muscular disorder that may kill him. Meanwhile, Cartman uses stem cells to clone his favorite restaurant. Kenny would later come back to life in the 6th season finale Red Sleigh Down. Originally aired December 5, 2001

  • "Butters' Very Own Episode": A Day in the Limelight episode centered on Butters Stotch, a cheery, little boy whose mom tries to kill him after Butters discovers that his father goes to gay bathhouses. Originally aired December 12, 2001

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